I am full of burrito and curiosity
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
