omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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