Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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