Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
