what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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