There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
