What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
