can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
