Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
