At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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