false alarm. still invincible.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
