dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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