i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
