my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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