how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
