if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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