Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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