dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
