brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
