it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Randomize
