i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
