And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
