Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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