she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
