I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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