Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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