All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think people are normalizing furries
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
