so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
