Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
worst night to have a conscience
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
