I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
