I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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