We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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