he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
