Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
