She said her name was "party"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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