But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
