This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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