We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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