Dual....:-)
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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