Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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