Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I cut my penus on the lid.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We left the knife in your bed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
