Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
