anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
