She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
