Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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