Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We left an ass print on the piano.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
