Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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