I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
