You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize