I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
