Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Hippo gnu deer
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
