The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
