someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
