Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
