I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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