i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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