Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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