You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
