My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
